How I Learned To Accept Myself As A Sugar Daddy

If you met me today and found out that I was a sugar daddy, your likely reaction would be “of course!” For most people that I have just met, I would probably seem tailor-made for the sugar daddy lifestyle. More times than I could count, I’ve been told that I am attractive, charming, and personable, and seemingly self-assured in my role as a sugar daddy. To the average person, I probably seem like the archetypical sugar daddy.

Before I became a sugar daddy

But that wasn’t always the case. If you had known me prior to my life as a sugar daddy, you would probably think that I was the last person in the world who would have fit into the role. I was shy, awkward, socially inept, and hopelessly timid around women. Even though I did eventually get married (and subsequently divorced), it seemed that women were an unfathomable mystery to me.

It wasn’t that I didn’t like women­–I simply didn’t know how to act around them. It seemed that everything I wanted to say came out wrong, and I had no game whatsoever. After my divorce, I thought my chances of being in a happy, satisfying relationship were slipping away forever.

The big decision

It was at this point that I first considered the idea of becoming a sugar daddy. “What could be better than having a hot young sugar baby by my side?” I thought. It seemed to me the ideal solution to my dilemma, and I quickly set about finding out how to get into the sugar dating lifestyle as quickly as possible. With the help of a couple of friends that had already been sugar daddies for a number of years, I was soon chatting it up and fielding dates like a pro.

But being a sugar daddy wasn’t quite the ideal scenario that I had envisioned. Although I was having some fun meeting women and initiating relationships with some of them, I wasn’t quite comfortable with the idea of actually being a sugar daddy. I felt too much pressure to conform to expectations that some of the women had, and I often felt that I was falling short of the definition of a sugar daddy.


Part of the reason was that I wasn’t exactly Fortune 500 material, nor was I the type to be rubbing elbows with your typical rich and famous Hollywood celebrities on a red carpet premier. Although I am pretty stable financially speaking, I wasn’t obscenely wealthy and didn’t have endless supplies of money to throw around. Given that I had always had the idea of sugar daddies having near-limitless funds at their disposal, I simply didn’t feel as if I was a legitimate part of this exclusive club.

Most of the insecurities with the opposite sex that I had previously were still also present even after I became a sugar daddy. I was just as shy and timid as I’ve ever been, and the fact that I had a relationship with a hot young sugar baby didn’t do a whole lot to improve that. Far from being the charming and confident sugar daddy that I was sure I would eventually become, I was still every bit the insecure and socially inept geek I had always been–except now I was paying for a sugar baby!

There was one other thing standing in the way of enjoying a happy and rewarding life as a sugar daddy. I had the feeling that I was somehow taking advantage of women that had no choice but to play sugar baby to me. I can tell you that this wasn’t a good feeling to have, and it definitely put a damper on what I assumed would be a satisfying and enjoyable experience.


What was going on with me? Why couldn’t I get the satisfaction and enjoyment that most other sugar daddies seem to be deriving from their relationships? As it turns out, there was nothing wrong with me. All I needed was to realize some of the little-known aspects of sugar dating and to bust some myths and misconceptions.

The first realization had to do with my financial insecurities. Although some degree of financial capability is indeed necessary in order to maintain a sugar baby, you don’t necessarily have to be a Rockefeller or the CEO of a Fortune 500 company in order to have a good time. A lot of sugar babies are level-headed, rational young women simply out to meet people and have a good time. Not all of them are looking for a Daddy Warbucks to set them up for life, so someone who is at least able to pay for the bare necessities might do just fine for their needs.

This realization also led me to another discovery, which is that not all sugar babies are damsels in distress that need saving from a harsh and unforgiving life. Like I said previously, lot of them are simply looking for a good time, and they know fully well what they are getting into. I therefore realized that I didn’t have to feel guilty about paying for the companionship of a nice young lady and thinking that I was somehow taking advantage of her. We were just both two consenting adults in a clear-cut arrangement in which services are provided in return for financial compensation.


The other issue–that of my insecurities with the opposite sex–took some more work on my part. In fact, part of me feels like I will never totally get over some of my fears. In some ways, I am still that same shy and timid young man who could hardly string two sentences together in front of an attractive young woman. Thinking about it though, that may not be such a bad thing. Retaining some of that nervous anticipation makes the experience of communicating and interacting with a woman all that much more exciting and satisfying. While I may never be totally at ease in my role as a sugar daddy, I am at least comfortable enough to enjoy the experience for the foreseeable future.

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