The Art of Negotiation

One of the more difficult things for Sugar Babies is deciding on just how much

their time is worth in monetary terms. Let’s be clear – everyone’s time is worth something, whether you are working an hourly wage or being provided an allowance, so that you can look after yourself while being there for your Sugar Daddy. Remember that lots of things in life are a transaction, whether explicitly mentioned or not. In many relationships, there are financial transactions, whether it is somebody paying for the mortgage on a home or sharing a getaway with their partner.

Generally, Sugar Daddies will begin by providing an amount for a weekly or regular monthly allowance.  If you are unsure at all, remember you can take your time getting to know your prospective Sugar Daddy. As with any other romantic relationship, sometimes you know right away that the person is a great fit for you and other times it takes several dates to know if you’re an excellent match. In this way, there’s not much that’s different from normal dating.

An Allowance vs a Charge

Frequently when we are speaking with people about money in relationships, we hear Sugar Babies state that they aren’t escorts, and that is very true. We aren’t saying that Sugar Babies are much better than escorts at all – they are just not the same. There is absolutely nothing wrong with Sugar Babies or escorts. Normally, escorts are the ones to quote a rate or set the cost, while Sugar Babies have the tendency to permit the Sugar Daddy to set the allowance. Allow your Sugar Daddy to be the one to set the groundwork for rates and negotiations. Make sure to let him start that discussion – consider it like dancing and let the man take the lead. Now, if you are dealing with a guy who is newer to being a Sugar Daddy (or is just a bit uncomfortable at starting these conversations), you might need to assist him along, without being too obvious.

Now, what do you do if he is the type of guy to start a conversation asking you how much you charge? We prefer to alter the subject completely and offer him a wink – that lets him know that you heard him, however, you will not be apart of that kind of conversation.  Then you can circle the conversation to your expenses and how much you need to live comfortably and let him understand how much you’re asking for as your allowance without it being what you are “charging” him for his time.

It’s Not about Paying for Sex

Remember that being a Sugar Baby isn’t really about sex – it’s an entire relationship. It is way too often that we become aware of Sugar Daddies who ask possible Sugar Babies to “audition” sexually prior to an allowance being decided upon. That’s not exactly what this relationship is about, and you might wind up undervaluing yourself if you fall for this. He might not wind up having a relationship with you, or he may, also, not pay you what you are worth. If he is interested in simply sex, there are a lot of women out there that can handle that, but you are more than simply a sex object to any man.

Know Your Worth

You shouldn’t worry if the allowance you want is too much.  While you need to be reasonable with regards to how much you really need and how much you can expect from a particular Sugar Daddy, there’s no wrong answer for how much you are worth.  Having said that, keep in mind that location and the economy can make the amount that is reasonable vary.  A Sugar Baby in NYC or LA is probably going to have a higher allowance than one in Tulsa or St. Louis, but it doesn’t mean she’s actually getting more when you factor in the cost of living in each area.

Now, exactly what if he does not suggest what you believe you are worth? There is always the possibility of compromise. Think of any 2 relationships that you have had in your life – while there might be some similarities, there are likely far more differences. Just like that no two sugar relationships are going to be the same. When you are choosing how much you are worth, consider how much time and dedication your Sugar Daddy is going to require of you. Will you have to be exclusive, or can you see other individuals? Will you hold another job or need to be readily available at his beck and call?  If you are nonexclusive you will be able to have more time to yourself and your life but may have a lower allowance. Keep in mind that depending on where you live and the typical cost of living, the amount o that is sensible for a Sugar Baby allowance might differ. It’s typical that Sugar Daddies who want their Sugar Baby available two times a month generally suggest an allowance that is on the lower end of the spectrum. Now, if he is the type of gentleman who will want you to invest more than an evening out with him (think complete nights, a weekend or two, or traveling), the allowance you get from him needs to be larger. If you plan on investing a date a week with him, you can expect him to treat you to a significantly bigger month-to-month allowance. Constantly bear in mind that the more time and emotional dedication that you are giving to him, the more your SD has to compensate you. If you travel with your Sugar Daddy, he should not just be covering your travel expenses but present you with a bigger allowance to compensate you for your time, and your time away from home.


Now, if you are exclusive with your wealthy older SD, you can anticipate having more of an emotional dedication to him, however, you can, also, expect a greater settlement for this advantage. No one can decide if you are prepared for a special commitment aside from you. If you do not feel ready to be exclusive, do not let anyone talk you into something you are not all set for or do not desire. Lots of Sugar Babies start by being non-exclusive and some move toward being exclusive with their gentleman while others do not. There is no right or wrong way to do it, as long as you are real to yourself. If you are comfortable spending quality time with your Sugar Daddy, an exclusive relationship may be worth thinking about.


When a mutually beneficial relationship progresses, it’s completely fine to renegotiate your allowance, especially if things move from non-exclusive to exclusive or if you 2 choose to spend more time together. Many Sugar Daddies double the allowance (at the minimum) if things advance from a non-exclusive relationship to an exclusive one. Normally, if you are spending more time with your Sugar Daddy, you can anticipate having  a substantially higher allowance.

Whatever you and you SD decide is a fair allowance, don’t settle for less than what you need to live comfortably.  If you aren’t receiving enough to cover at least your most basic expenses, it’s not enough.  If you’re SD can’t cover those needs, he’s not understanding what a real Sugar Daddy is or isn’t wealthy enough, and you should move on to someone who can handle your needs.

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